Let me start by saying I had a fantastic time in Mammoth with Wonko. He picked me up on Thursday night at Reno/Tahoe International Airport, in Reno, Nevada. Wonko was waiting downstairs for me near baggage claim and the flashing lights of airport slot machines. My wife had given me a pocket full of quarters to call her upon landing. We used Wonko's phone card to call and assure her that the flight had arrived safely and used the pocket full of change to dump in the unforgiving slot machines. Walking away from the slots, we made our way to the car, which was only steps away from the door. Stopping at the gas station to fill up and get drinks was the only stop we made on our way to the mountains. It was great to get to have 2 1/2 hours to ride together and talk.

Out of the many expectations I had for my trip, there were two that stuck out: Putting my ideals into action and coming home with a different perspective on what it is I want to do/be. This trip would quench both as well as give me insight into other areas I had not thought out.

I was pushed to my limits during our trip in to the wild. We cross country skied about 2 1/2 miles into the woods where we found an awesome snow bank to build our snow cave. We had brought all the required gear to dig an ice cave and spend the night. After 4 hours of digging, we finally completed the cave, and found ourselves soaking wet. I more so, was feeling pretty miserable and could not seem to warm myself up. The temperature outside was close to 0 and the snow cave held a steady 41 degrees. While I felt much warmer in the cave, I was still very wet. We had brought a change of clothes for our tops but our bottoms would remain wet until they dried out. I climbed into my sleeping bag trying to warm up and dry off. We laid there talking for about an hour before it became to much for me to bare. I became very concerned and panicked. This isn't my normal nature, but I felt so cold and water logged that I feared I would not be able to make it off the mountain if I waited any longer. It was 7 or so in the evening, dark, and we hadn't eaten since breakfast. I didn't have the energy to keep myself warm and sadly told Wonko I had to leave. I was definitely at the end of my wits and Wonko really came through for me. In reality I wasn't in a life threatening danger, though, freezing cold, without any energy, I thought I was really going to die up there. Wonko helped me get my boots back on and packed up the camp entirely by himself. I was hopeless and he really saved me up there. I couldn't even get my own skis on at this point. He kneeled in the cold snow and assisted me to get strapped in. He motivated me the entire time and constantly assured me that I was okay and not to panic. We made it off the mountain by about 9:30 pm or so, under the most beautiful starry sky I have ever seen. I felt a little embarrassed about the entire situation and apologized for making him have to go through the entire ordeal. Being the great friend he is, he told me that it was for the best and we headed home. I thanked him and told him I was ashamed to have to go back and tell his roommates that I couldn't hack it out there. He laughed as we pulled up to an empty house. As we were getting out of the car, his roommate Eric pulled up and asked what we were doing back. With my head hung low, I began to explain. Eric smiled and told me it was no big deal, that it was cold and that I didn't have any reason to feel ashamed about it. I thanked him for taking it easy on me and we headed in the warm house for a beer.

We sat around that night and talked, as roommates and friends came and went. I mostly sat around and listened to the interesting characters and stories of this small town. I began to feel as if I had lived here for years and had seen or been a part of the stories that were told. One of the most interesting parts of the trip was seeing all of these unique people, with the same sense of passion for skiing and snowboarding, some with academic degrees, others with only the education received through life itself, and all with such simple and happy lives. They smiled as they talked and it wasn't apparent that any of them had regret for who or where they were.

That night I laid in bed digesting my experience and comparing what I'd seen with my own life. While I was hanging out, I was glamorized by the passion in their lives. Though, while I lied there in bed trying to make it applicable to my own life, I realized there were parts of their lives that I had already experienced and were simply youthful ideals. Their lives revolved around riding (snowboarding) and hanging out, which usually consisted consuming large amounts of alcohol. The next morning, I talked with Wonko and he told me that this wasn't the "norm", and that it was just a big weekend with the Super Bowl and all. I told him I wasn't judging. Rather, I had realized that my life had moved away from that sort of youthful drunken exuberance.

I walked away from the experience of the mountains, the characters, and the exploration of myself with more questions than answers. I was left wondering whether or not this lifestyle would bring me happiness. I have over the last year, simplified my life to be more closer to where these people are. Although, I'm not sure that this is the lifestyle that my soul aches for. This is something I need to delve deeper into to gain better understanding of. One thing I realized, above everything else, was that I am horribly out of shape. I wanted to enjoy the out doors and remember the time when I did. However, I felt that I wasn't able to enjoy it as much as I should have, because I was in such bad shape.

Other than being in shape, I realized how strongly my passion is to write, and that I need to work aggressively to make this happen. I have a lot to do to improve my writing skills and know I need to get into a writing class immediately. For me, being in shape and writing will go hand in hand. I believe that the type of writing I want to do is of people in their environment, and that if I'm not in shape, I won't be able to keep up with those characters I intend to write about.

I'm back in Phoenix now and trying to put it all together. I learned a lot about myself, and how far I can go both physically and mentally. I also learned a lot about my relationship with my wife. Being away from her, made me realize how much I love her and how important it is to be in sync with our ideals. We've been talking about having children and my trip was one of the things I had to get out of the way before I made that decision. I need to pin down a little bit better my experiences from this trip before I can make an absolute decision of when we should begin trying to conceive. I do however, know that it's something that I definitely want to do. I will be thinking about this specifically over the next couple of days as I put into action everything I've learned. Action is required, and I can no longer continue to talk about what I want or should do. I am now required to act on what I know. I will not take this task lightly and will begin to point my life in the direction consistent with my ideals.
In Jack Kerouac's book "Dharma Bums" there is a line that says: "When you reach the top of the mountain, keep on climbing." From here, I will continue to climb.